Enough about the kids, let's talk about ME!

As many of you know, our struggle with infertility is what God used to lead us to adoption. I often think about what would have happened if we had gotten pregnant right way. The thought that immediately comes to mind is that we wouldn't have Michael and Liliana with us now. At the time, I was heartbroken because I couldn't get pregnant and frustrated that God wasn't answering my prayers for a baby. What I couldn't understand then was that God had a beautiful plan for our family. Why I didn't trust Him more seems funny to be now. I wouldn't trade my struggle with infertility for anything because that is what opened the doors for us to adopt. And there is no doubt in my mind that God picked Michael and Liliana out especially for our family. It's absolutely incredible.

After getting the kids home, I thought my days of dealing with infertility related issues would be over. I have a peace about never getting pregnant. In fact, the thought of getting pregnant actually makes me a little sad because that would be one less time I would get to adopt. The adoption experience was so incredible I want to do it as many time as we are able. But alas, the drama continues... so I thought I would give an update on me. :)

Let me first start by giving a quick re-cap of where I've been. In February 2008 Matt and I started trying to get pregnant. After 6 months with no success I went to my OB/GYN. He ran some tests and we quickly realized that we were not going to get pregnant on our own - although because they never found a definite reason for our lack of success, they labeled us with unexplained infertility. From December 2008 - April 2009 we did 5 rounds of Intrauterine Insemination (this is where they insert the sperm directly into the using a syringe and catheter). After 5 unsuccessful rounds, we decided to adopt.

In August of 2009, I started to have the most ridiculously painful menstrual cramps that I have ever had. It was awful. This lasted for 8 months before I finally decided to go to the doctor. We knew we were going to be leaving soon to pick up the kids and I didn't want to be in pain while in Ethiopia. The doctor told me he thought I had middlesmertz, which is just a fancy way of saying really bad cramps. I knew it was more than that, so I pushed back and he agreed to schedule an ultrasound. During the ultrasound they found I had two good sized cysts - one on each ovary - which they believed to be endometriosis. They put me on birth control from March to August to see if that would shrink the cysts. Over those months the cysts continued to grow in size. I wasn't happy with my normal OB/GYNs recommendations so I decided to get a second opinion.

Yesterday (August 27) I went to Minnesota Gynecology and Surgery for a second opinion (which, by the way, I would HIGHLY recommend if you are dealing with any womanly issues). The doctor I saw there was incredible and I have great confidence and trust in what he told me. He said that because of the size of my cysts (over 7 cm on the right side... not sure how big lefty is) the only option I have is surgery (this was different from what my other doctor said). He also told me that I likely have level 4 Endometriosis, which is as bad as it gets. I have scheduled my surgery for Sept 23. He said I will need 4-5 days to recover and then should be good to go. They are doing the surgery laproscopically, so there will only be 3 small incisions. The hope is that during the surgery they will be able to remove all of the endometriosis, repair anything that has scar tissue, and then put my ovaries "back where they go." My ovaries are currently smooshed together because of the cysts, so they doc will put them back up in their correct locations. The doctor said the entire process to get rid of everything will likely be 6-9 months. Apparently endometriosis often hides in places that can't be seen until the bigger spots are cleaned out - which means I may have to have multiple surgeries over the next 6-9 months. At that point he said, "then we'll get you pregnant." Funny how my mind went to the kids in Africa when he said that. A pregnancy would mean one more orphan in Africa. But, I am trusting in Jesus, knowing that He already has a plan for our family. If I get pregnant, I can trust Him. If I don't get pregnant, I can trust him. And just to clear the air - if I do get pregnant, I will love that baby just as much as my brown babies. :)