I have felt like I was suffocating all week (is it really ONLY Tuesday???) waiting for the MOWA letter to show up. I've been glued to my phone and my email. I don't think I would be exaggerating if I said I checked my email at least every 15 minutes. Talk about exhausting!
Last week we received what we *thought* was our MOWA letter from our adoption coordinator. It turned out to be our court decree. The court decree is supposed to be #2 of the 5 things we need before we are submitted for an Embassy hearing. So, we were excited none-the-less.
Yesterday we got a few new pictures and new measurements of the babies. Samuel is now 22 lbs and 30 inches tall. Sadie is 20 lbs and is 28 inches. I can't believe how big they are getting. We are so encouraged by their continued weight gain. It makes us feel like they are well taken care of, even though they are far away from us.
Every time I would get an email from our adoption coordinator yesterday with the measurements and pictures was like a roller coaster ride. I'd see her name in my inbox and get super excited... only to be let down when I didn't read the words "You have your MOWA" letter.
In the afternoon I received an email from one of the families that we traveled with while in Ethiopia for our court date. They had court on Oct 30 (we had court on Oct 29) and they received their MOWA letter. I about lost it. It just wasn't fair. Why would someone after me get their MOWA letter before me?!?!? The last 24 hours have been an internal battle. I wanted so desperately to be happy for them. To have joy despite the circumstances (them having their MOWA letter and us not having ours). But instead there was a battle within me. I felt jealousy, hurt, disappointment. Really I just felt heart broken. It's moments like these were I miss my babies so much it nearly makes me double over in pain. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is so true. Most days I can deal with the hurt of missing Sammy and Sadie. But sometimes it overtakes me.
So, this afternoon, I decided that I needed a long, quiet moment with Jesus. I told both of the kids they needed to lay down for a rest so that I could have some alone time. I had a nice long cry and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for a few minutes. And then recited Philippians 4:6-7 over and over again
Last week we received what we *thought* was our MOWA letter from our adoption coordinator. It turned out to be our court decree. The court decree is supposed to be #2 of the 5 things we need before we are submitted for an Embassy hearing. So, we were excited none-the-less.
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| New picture of Samuel and Sadie. |
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| It sort of looks like they are trying to say "cheese" |
Every time I would get an email from our adoption coordinator yesterday with the measurements and pictures was like a roller coaster ride. I'd see her name in my inbox and get super excited... only to be let down when I didn't read the words "You have your MOWA" letter.
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| I love that they are wearing their Twins shirts! |
So, this afternoon, I decided that I needed a long, quiet moment with Jesus. I told both of the kids they needed to lay down for a rest so that I could have some alone time. I had a nice long cry and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself for a few minutes. And then recited Philippians 4:6-7 over and over again
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Then I cleaned the bathrooms and listened to my new favorite CD. I love a good distraction and I really do love freshly cleaned bathrooms. :)
No more than an hour later, I sat down to email our financial advisor something. I had resolved myself to not checking my email obsessively anymore as to lessen my anxiety. When I opened my email there it was, dazzling bright with shooting stars flying out of it... an email from our adoption coordinator letting us know WE HAVE OUR MOWA LETTER. Okay, so it was just a regular email, but in my mind's eye it was dazzling bright with shooting stars flying out of it. :)
So what does this mean? This means we are ready *hopefully* to apply for the kids new birth certificates. There is some question as to whether or not the court decree we have is our actual court decree, but we will find that out next week (it's a long, boring story so I'll save you the details). This also means that I probably freaked out for nothing. But, I am allowed a few freak-out moments, right? Even if it doesn't make sense to anyone else. :)
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