My {Bittersweet} Mother's Day

Mother's Day.  The day that used to make me cry.  The day I used to dread because it reminded me of what I wasn't.  I thought those days were over when I flew home three years ago on Mother's day with Michael and Liliana.  Don't get me wrong, I love being pampered all day.  I love getting breakfast in bed, cute little cards from the kids, my favorite meals cooked by Matt, back rubs, and other sweet little gifts.  I love that I am finally a Mom and have the four most precious children in the world.  But, when I look at my children and praise God that He picked them for our family, I also feel grief for their sweet Mommy's that had to give them up.

Since meeting the twins' birth mom in October, our hearts have been broken over the great sacrifice made by the birth moms of our children.  We absolutely love adoption and love that through adoption we became parents.  But, we hate the reason our children and so many like them had to be adopted.  How horrible that these moms have to give their beloved children up for adoption because of external circumstances that are totally and completely out of their control.  Poverty, malnutrition, disease, lack of clean water, lack of good medical care.  These are the things taking the lives of parents all over Ethiopia (and elsewhere) and forcing moms and dads to give up their precious children for adoption.  Children that should be growing up in the culture God designed them to live and thrive in.  Instead, they are growing up with us through adoption.  Which, of course, we are eternally grateful for, but it is still heartbreaking.

We love our children so much and wouldn't trade them for the world.  We are grateful for the unique opportunity to raise them, teach them, care for them.  And we are eternally grateful for the women who made the ultimate sacrifice to give them a better life.  Mother's day will always be bittersweet for me because it's a day to celebrate being a Mom of such wonderful children.  But it is also a day to remember the beautiful, amazing, selfless women who made me a Mom.

Never say Never

It happened.  I agreed (willingly, and with some enthusiasm) to do the thing I swore I would never do.  The thing I judged people for doing.  The thing I thought was so crazy.  The thing I thought was selfish and absurd.  The thing I swore I would never do.  Have I mentioned that I was totally against this thing and swore I would never do it?

We have decided to homeschool (insert gasp here).

Yes, folks, it's true.  Starting this fall I will be homeschooling Michael and Liliana.  As an educator (I have a teaching degree and used to teach birth to five-year-olds with special needs) I was always against homeschooling.  My arguments against it were classic.  You'll ruin your kids.  They'll be awkward.  They won't have any social skills.  They won't learn anything real.  They'll be sheltered and freak out when they enter the "real world."  You'll deprive them of the joys of public education.  They'll miss out on the things I loved as a student.  The list goes on.  The problem with my list of reasons against homeschooling is that I never really looked into homeschooling seriously enough to see what it was all about.

This past fall, I started talking to my friends that homeschool.  Their children were normal.  They had great social skills.  They were extremely intelligent.  They were well mannered and had a solid faith in Jesus.  The more I talked with Moms about why they chose to homeschool, the more I understood why someone would choose to homeschool.  And as those reasons continued to sink in, the idea of public education became less and less appealing for our family.  So, after much discussion, prayer, and research, we have decided to homeschool.  And we are excited about it.  Nervous too, but mainly excited and anxious to see how God will use this new adventure in our lives to grow us closer to Him and closer to each other.

So, why did we ultimately decide to homeschool?  Here are the top 5 reasons:

1. It allows our kids to be kids for as long as possible.
Homeschooling only takes up a fraction of your day -- especially when your kids are little.  Then our kids can play and "be kids" for the remainder of the day.  When you go to public school, they are there for 6 or 7 hours a day.  When they get home from school, they have homework to do as well.  On top of that, they will likely have extra curricular activities.  This busy schedule leaves little time for our kids to just play, relax, and have fun.

2. It allows us to be the biggest influence in our kids' lives.
While kids are in school all day, they are being influenced by all sorts of people that may have a negative impact on them.  Young kids are very impressionable.  They'll believe anything.  And while I agree that it is good for them to be in contact with people that have different beliefs and morals than us, I don't want them to have to debate Christianity at age 7.  That shouldn't be their responsibility.  This is a time for them to learn and grow in Christ under our protective wing.  And believe me when I saw I'm not a helicopter Mom.  I want our kids to learn from their own mistakes and grow on their own.  But, I also want them to be protected while they are young and innocent.


3. We get to pick what our children learn.
When you homeschool, you get to pick the curriculum.  We have the privilege to be able to pick a Christian curriculum so that through their everyday studies of history, grammar, spelling, etc, they learn Bible verses, Bible stories,  and about the history of and in the Bible.  We are thrilled about the curriculum that we have chosen for our kids.  It is called Classical Conversations.  It's a classical curriculum.  It works really well with a big family because everyone learns the same thing each year, but the older kids go more in depth.  We are very excited to see how our children thrive, grow, and learn through this Christian curriculum.

4. I get to spend more time with my kids.
I have never felt quite ready to send Michael to Kindergarten in the fall.  I know a lot of Moms share this feeling as their first child (or maybe as any of their children) enters Kindergarten.  But, this feeling is even more exaggerated for me because Michael has only been home for three years.  Imagine sending your three-year-old to Kindergarten!  Homeschooling allows me more time at home with all the kids.  Which means more time to continue to bond, attach, get to know each other, and learn how to be a forever family together.

5. We are being obedient to the call to homeschool.
Believe me when I say that I wouldn't homeschool had God not asked me to.  This is not something I'm doing for me.  It's partially something I'm doing for the kids because I truly believe homeschooling is in their best interest.  Most importantly, I'm homeschooling because I believe God has asked me to do it.  Maybe He's teaching me to be obedient in doing something crazy and controversial (especially in my family).  Maybe He's preparing us for something bigger (like moving to Ethiopia to do mission work).  Or maybe He's asking us to do this so He can grow us as a family.  No matter the reason, we've chosen to say Yes the first time He asked.  No doubt their will be struggles along the way.  No doubt their will be people judging us for our decision.  No doubt I will doubt my ability to teach my kids and get frustrated.  But, despite all that, we are choosing Jesus and His plans for our life.  And right now that means we are going to homeschool our kids.

 And for those of you who think we are crazy.  Who think we will let our kids down.  Who think that they will miss out.  Who think that they will be socially awkward.  I challenge you to keep an open mind and to watch as this crazy plan unfolds in our lives.  Because I know from the bottom of my heart that this is right for our family and therefore great things are bound to happen this year.  Just wait -- you'll see.  And we're excited to see too.

If you have further questions about homeschooling, there is a great article we read that does a fantastic job at explaining why we, and so many other families, are choosing to homeschool our kids.  You can find the article here.

Three Months Home

It's hard to believe that our crazy and sassy little babies have been home for three months already.  It feels like just yesterday we were flying home... being pooped on, barfed on, and trying not to loose our minds as we listened to the babies cry for what felt like eight hours straight.  In those first moments as a family of six I often wondered how long it would take for life to feel normal again.  For us to sleep through the night again.  For us to stop making eight bottles a day.  I honestly thought it would take at least six months for the babies to adjust.  I never thought life would feel normal again after only three short months, but it does.  Praise God!

Sadie patiently waiting for breakfast.

Meeting my best friend Heidi's kids.  It's so fun that they all love to play together!

Sammy holding baby Solomon.  He had an absolute blast holding him.  Sadie, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with Solomon after she saw me holding him.

First trip to the zoo - everyone had a great time!

Meeting new friends!  Jocelyn and baby Cora.

Sammy encouraging the big kids to do their best in Mario Kart. :)

Brothers.  There is a unique and special bond between these two boys.

Snuggle time in Mommy and Daddy's bed!

Daddy and his cuties.

A little blurry, but I love this picture.... and I absolutely love this sweet boy.

So precious.  Love these littles.

My twins. :)

Meeting Great-Grandma and Great-Grandpa Skelly for the first time.

They also got to meet Auntie Gail and Uncle Bruce!

Sadie reading on the couch.

Sammy loves having his picture taken and smiling goofy!

Readying together.  So sweet.

Longing for Now

Most days as a of Mom of four are crazy.  And in those crazy moments that happen throughout each day, it is so easy to wish for the next stage, the next month, the next age.  Because it would be easier then, they'll listen better then, they'll actually clean up then.  But, when I look past the crazy and watch what my four kids are up to, I can't help but smile.  So, the babies are into everything, but watching them get into everything is so cute.  They are so curious.  And playful.  And imaginative.  They are so fun!

In the midst of the craziness that is my life, I am choosing to long for now.  I am taking note of what the four are up to and letting it sink in.  I am *trying* to enjoy the mess ... and the chaos ... and the noise ... because with that comes the memories, laughter, creative play, and tons of fun.

Sadie is our little lover.  She can't get enough snuggles throughout the day.  She loves to grab a few of her favorite toys (play food and babies) and sit on my lap to play with them.  She can't go more than five minutes without giving me a kiss or tickling me.  There is nothing sweeter than when she stops drinking her bottle for a few moments so that she can give you a kiss. She does not enjoy being tickled very much, but she LOVES to tickle others.  She says "ticka-ticka-ticka" in the cutest little baby girl voice as she tickles you.  Sadie will spontaneously say "I love you" (nothing melts a Mama's heart more!) and has great manners (she says: please, thank you, and 'welcome without reminders!).  Sadie loves to talk and is definitely an extrovert.  Sadie is aggressive and will fight for what she wants.  She steals toys, hits, bites, and throws fits when she doesn't get her way.  The big kids stand up to her, but Sammy always gives in to Sadie.  She will share if you ask her to, but she'll often cry after she gives her toy to someone else to play with.  Sadie loves going potty on the big girl potty and will tell us when she needs to go.  If we weren't still giving her a bottle before bed, I would probably potty train her right now.  But, for now, we'll let her go potty when she feels like it and not put any pressure on her for more. 

Listening to Sammy and Sadie talk together is adorable.  They definitely have their own language and seem to understand each other.  Sadie also seems to feel for Sammy.  Almost anytime Sammy cries, Sadie cries too.  It is very sweet.  And they both seem to come to each others "rescue."  They stand up for each other, comfort each other, and check in with each other when one of them is upset.

Sammy is a flirt.  If he catches you smiling at him, he's got the biggest grin on his face.  He is much more conservative with his kisses than his twin sister.  But, when he does give you a kiss, they are pure sweetness.  He sticks that bottom lip out as far as it can go when he puckers up.  Sammy winks when he's flirting or teasing and has already learned to whistle.  He loves playing with me.  He comes up to me and says, "Mama, Mama" and grabs my hand to take me to the toy he wants to play with.  He loves playing cars (he'll drive pretty much any toy around as a car), pretend play in the kitchen, and going for walks outside.  He also loves building with blocks and megablocks.  And he's very proud of his creations.  Whenever he builds something, he finds me so he can show it to me and grins from ear to ear when I say, "great job" or "I love it."  Sammy is more adventurous when it comes to food than Sadie is.  He'll try just about anything -- most of it comes right back out, but at least he tries, right?!? :)  He's becoming a great eater.  He seems to understand much of what we say to him or ask of him and nods his head to acknowledge us in conversation.  He absolutely loves his big brother and already looks up to him.

Michael and Liliana have become two peas in a pod since the twins came home.  It's almost as if they are defending their territory as "first children" together against the twins.  They play together so much more now and fight a ton less.  They love playing hide-and-go-seek, doing art projects, playing church, having dance parties, building forts, and playing in the snow (which apparently we're going to continue to do in April!?!?).  They look out for each other and seem to genuinely enjoy each others company.  They've gotten wise in their "old age" and know when to ask Mommy for a treat so that she'll say yes (ha!).  And Michael has learned to send Liliana to ask for something if it's really crazy because I must say yes to her more often. :)

Life is hard and crazy at moments, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I love having four kids and couldn't imagine life without any of them.  Even if they do produce a ton of crumbs that seem to keep re-appearing no matter how often I sweep.  But sweeping the crumbs brings me joy now because I know who made them.  Okay, maybe that's not entirely true....but I'm getting there. :)

Sadie finds her hair to work best when she has food on her hands.  Every meal people. Every meal.

Sadie likes to know which toys float and which toys sink.

Surprise!

No Sadie, that is not soap, it is a chocolate bunny.  Silly girl!

Sammy playing in the snow.

First bath together.

Me with my little man.

It's easier to eat if I hold up the plate!

My sweeties on Easter Sunday.

Snow Day!

Confession: I love March snow storms.  I don't like snow most of the year.  I love flurries on Christmas, but that's about it.  Unless it's March.  There is something about a March snow that I just love.  Maybe because it's unexpected or maybe because it's a bit warmer outside.  I'm not sure what it is, but it is most enjoyable to me.

Today was a snow day for much of Minnesota.  Since we hadn't yet taken the twins out to play in the snow, we decided today would be the perfect day.  After getting everyone dressed (which I somehow managed to do in about 10 minutes!) we headed outside.  Sadie wasn't shy at all, she jumped right in... and face planted. :)  She was surprisingly okay with having snow all over her face.  She absolutely loved the snow!  Sammy was a little more apprehensive about the snow, but warmed up to it quite quickly with a little encouragement.  Both Sammy and Sadie were very funny to watch as they navigated the snow.  It took them a while to figure out how to walk around in all their snow gear.  Once they got moving, they didn't stop moving!  There were quite a few spills as they made their way around the driveway and sidewalks, but they were good sports about it.

Michael and Liliana were really good helpers with not only the shoveling, but with the babies as well.  If a baby fell down, they were there right away to help them get up again.  Michael and Liliana also enjoyed playing in the snow with Sammy and Sadie.  They taught them how to shovel and how to build a fort.  Sammy and Sadie loved shoveling. It was so cute to listen to them talk as they "shoveled" the snow.  Sadie mostly just pushed it around.  Sammy, on the other hand, was actually able to pick a shovel-full of snow up and move it.

We were outside for about an hour shoveling and playing in the snow.  I was impressed that the twins made it that long!  They were quite tired and hungry by the time we got inside.  We all had a really good time and are looking forward to the next March snowstorm so we can get out there again. ;)

All ready to head outside to play in the snow!

Sadie's first experience with snow: a face-plant

Checking out her surroundings before diving in.

Sammy's first experience in the snow: "What is this stuff?!"

Sadie hanging out in a snow pile.

Trying to figure out how to move around

Liliana helping to shovel the driveway

Sadie loved to lay down in the snow!

Sammy finding clear ground to walk on

Michael showing Sammy and Sadie how to shovel

A little smile from my cutie

Sammy and Sadie playing together in the snow.

Michael and Sadie playing together....

I had to tell him to stop shoveling snow onto the babies!

Making a snow angel?

Michael's snow angel

Sadie helping shovel the driveway.

Sammy wanted to use both shovels

Stuck in a snow mound!

Sadie shoveling more of the driveway.

Playing together....

....building a fort!

"Snow is so much fun!"